Hey there, cyborgs!

Let's face it—cybersecurity often feels like its guarded by insane technology and tech bros speaking a foreign language.

But what if I told you that ignoring it leaves your digital life wide open to an array of digital predators lurking in the shadows?

Welcome to "CyberShrekurity: How to Keep Lord Farquaad Outta Your Swamp."

This guide isn't just about securing your information; it's about understanding the 'Farquaads' of the world—those who wish to invade your privacy and exploit you and your data.

From the surveillance state and billionaires with their vast resources to data brokers who trade personal information like currency, along with hackers, stalkers, and scammers—you’ve never been in more danger.

Protecting yourself starts here.

Equip yourself with the knowledge and tools to shield your swamp (online world) and maintain your privacy against these losers.

How I Know You’re (probably) Unprotected…

Almost everyone is using a password manager that’s excessively vulnerable.

I know this because everyone’s looks of horror when I show them my special chart.

Hackers Are Trading Your Credentials Like Pokemon Cards

Ever wonder what happens to your password once it gets leaked?

Picture it as an open invitation to every cyber creep lurking in the dark web's shadows.

Cybercriminals don't just sit on this information—they trade it like a hot commodity.

It's a roaring underground market where leaked passwords are bought and sold, each transaction a potential threat to your autonomy.

The Domino Effect

If you're using the same email/password combo across multiple platforms, a single security breach puts every account you have at immediate risk.

It’s also time to get real about the world we're living in.

The stats are terrifying: over 60% of small businesses shut down within six months of a cyberattack.

That's more than half!

All the entrepreneur’s hard work and those dreams, gone in a flash due to one tiny slip-up.

Personal surveillance threats are everywhere—cyberstalking, identity theft, financial fraud.

These aren't just buzzwords; they're real dangers that can destroy your life.

Imagine someone watching your every online move, or worse, draining your bank account while you sleep.

Horrifying, right?

And here's the real eye-opener: it’s not just hackers you need to worry about.

Companies, countries, and the surveillance state are all collecting information on you around the clock.

They know what you buy, where you go, who you talk to—they even track your interests and habits.

This constant monitoring isn’t just creepy; it’s a massive invasion of your privacy.

Are you unknowingly leaving your digital doors wide open for these digital predators?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you.

Stick with me, and I'll show you the simple steps to lock down your defenses.

It's easier than you think!

Where the Heck Did CyberShrekurity Come From?

Let's hit rewind for a sec and go back to my early days of dabbling in cybersecurity.

I’m sitting in front of my computer, feeling like I’m trying to crack the code to the Matrix.

It was overwhelming.

The jargon, the endless stream of updates, the horror stories—it all felt like too much.

As I started paying closer attention, I noticed an incredibly frustrating trend in my learning journey.

Some tech pros love to make cybersecurity seem like a hella bada$$ dark art🐉🤺, hoarding the "secrets" to make themselves look cool.

It's a classic case of ego-driven gatekeeping.

Nietzsche would say they're compensating for their lack of intrinsic value by creating artificial barriers.

He would also say a lot more…

Instead of embracing the simplicity and accessibility of knowledge, they build these intellectual fortresses to prop up their own self-worth.

This infuriated me.

Why should essential knowledge be kept behind closed doors?

And why does everything cybersecurity have to be so serious???

So, I cooked up the idea for CyberShrekurity to spread the gospel to the masses in an understandable way.

Yeah, it’s silly, but it’s effective.

There’s one main idea:

Just like Shrek (and onions!) has layers, so does good cybersecurity.

Your Online Reality is Basically Shrek’s Swamp

It’s your sanctuary, your domain.

The place you can be fully yourself.

But lurking just beyond your digital trees are the sneaky Lord Farquaad and his gang of fairytale cyber creeps, eager to invade your space and exploit your data.

Enter CyberShrekurity: a way to layer up your defenses so well that these intruders decide it's easier to mess with someone else.

We aren’t getting mad at Lord Farquaad; we’re getting incredibly annoying for him to deal with.

And remember, it’s not ogre—it’s never ogre.

Cybersecurity: Like Onions and Ogres, It Has Layers

Just like onions and ogres, cybersecurity has lots of layers.

The goal here is to be so annoyingly secure that cyber creeps decide it’s less hassle to target someone else.

Every layer you add is another hurdle for them to jump, making your swamp a fortress they’d rather avoid.

The Four Onion Layers of CyberShrekurity

Layer 1: Onion Defense - Fortify Your Swamp

First things first, we need some serious layers around your swamp:

• Passwords: If you’re still using “password123,” straight to jail. Use complex passwords with over 14 characters, stored in a paid secure (unbreached!) password manager like KeePassXC or Bitwarden. Think of it as the drawbridge to your castle. And remember, never reuse the same password for multiple accounts.

• Two-Factor Authentication (2FA): This is your moat filled with hungry crocodiles. Even if someone cracks your password, they’ll have to deal with a second layer of security. Use an app like Authy for 2FA—never rely on text messages because they’re vulnerable to SIM-hijacking.

• VPNs: Virtual Private Networks are like throwing an invisibility cloak over your online activities. Use a paid VPN to encrypt your data and hide your location. Unlike free VPNs, paid services are more incentivized to protect your information, shielding your IP address and ensuring your data remains safe, even if they receive a subpoena.

• Secure Browsing: Use privacy-focused browsers like Firefox, Brave, or DuckDuckGo. Enable features that block trackers and ads. You’re building thick, high walls to keep the snoopers out.

Layer 2: Network Security - Patrol Your Borders

Just like Shrek doesn’t let anyone waltz into his swamp, you need to keep an eye on your network:

• Figure Out Your Risk Level: Start by assessing your network's risk level using my checklist. This will help you identify potential vulnerabilities and prioritize your security measures.

• Regular Checks: Regularly update your router’s firmware and other network devices to patch any security holes.

• Penetration Testing: Use tools to simulate cyber-attacks and find vulnerabilities before the bad guys do. This is your security drill – be prepared!

• Secure Configuration: Make sure your network devices are set up securely. Disable unnecessary services (I’m looking at you IoT!), change default passwords, and use strong encryption protocols like WPA3 for your Wi-Fi.

Layer 3: Cyber Threat Education - Know Lord Farquaad

Knowledge is your best weapon. Stay ahead by understanding the threats out there:

• Spyware and Malware: Learn about common threats like Pegasus and Magic Lantern. They’re the sneaky fairy tale creatures you need to be aware of.

• Hacking Techniques: Understand how phishing attacks work, recognize malicious email attachments, and get the basics of social engineering. It’s like knowing the tricks your enemies might use.

• Data Brokers: Be aware of the companies that collect and sell your personal information. These data brokers are like Lord Farquaad's minions, constantly gathering data to exploit.

• Surveillance State: Stay informed about how governments and other entities may be surveilling your activities. Knowing how the surveillance state operates helps you take measures to protect your privacy.

• Companies: Understand how businesses collect and use your data. From targeted ads to data mining, companies can be just as invasive as any hacker.

• Other People: Be cautious of those around you who might want access to your information for various reasons. Sometimes the threat is closer than you think.

Layer 4: Hands-On Cybersecurity Projects - Get Your Hands Dirty

Just reading about security isn’t enough. You need to get some practical experience:

• Secure Wi-Fi Networks: Set up secure Wi-Fi with strong encryption and complex passwords. Experiment with different settings to understand their impact.

• Man-in-the-Middle Attacks: Simulate these attacks to see how they work and learn how to defend against them.

• Build Your Own Lab: Create a personal cybersecurity lab with virtual machines to practice safely. Test your skills in a controlled environment.

• Capture the Flag (CTF) Competitions: Participate in these challenges to solve cybersecurity problems and puzzles. It’s fun and educational!

I know what you’re thinking: “I don’t know how to code.”

But guess what?

You don’t need to.

Basic cybersecurity doesn’t require coding skills.

It’s like learning to lock your doors and windows.

You don’t have to be a locksmith; you just need to know how to turn the key.

Or maybe you’re thinking, “Cybersecurity is too complicated for me.”

Trust me, I get it.

It can seem overwhelming.

But that’s exactly why I’ve broken it down into easy-to-follow steps.

My framework simplifies complex principles into bite-sized actions you can tackle one at a time.

Think of it like following a recipe—one step at a time, and before you know it, you’ve cooked up a secure digital life.

So, where do you start?

Begin with my personal assessment checklist.

It’s a practical guide to get your defenses up and running.

No special skills needed, just a willingness to protect your world and learn.

Let’s face it: Lord Farquaad and his cronies aren’t going to wait.

The best time to start securing your digital world was yesterday; the second-best time is now.

It’s not ogre, it’s never ogre.

And never is good cybersecurity.

Stay Curious,

Addie LaMarr

P.S. In case you forgot to download it while reading, here’s the Security Checklist again.